The Power of Our Choices 

The question “What are you wearing?” is one that resonates with women across the country, particularly when a significant event is on the horizon. Whether it’s a speaking engagement, a festive Christmas party, or an award ceremony, this seemingly simple question carries a depth of meaning and emotion. It’s not merely about clothing; it’s about how we present ourselves to the world and the confidence we embody. 
 
The Emotional Weight of Wardrobe Choices 
 
For many of us, the days (weeks/months even) leading up to a special occasion can be fraught with anxiety over what to wear. I remember a time when I was grappling with what I call “WTF Syndrome” — Wardrobe That’s Failing. I had a wardrobe bursting at the seams yet felt like I had absolutely NOTHING to wear! Standing in front of my fit to busting wardrobe, I’d try on loads of outfits, my bedroom transforming into a jumble sale with clothes strewn everywhere. 
 
Time would run away with me as I became increasingly hot and bothered, rushing to find something that i felt nice in. It often ended with me making do with an outfit that didn’t excite me in any way shape or form. I’d feel crap about myself and wish I was staying in, all while frantically applying lipstick and putting on earrings in a taxi because I’d run out if time. Hardly the best state for stepping out for a fun night. 
 
The Turning Point 
 
Everything changed when I decided to dress with intent (rather than in tents) invest in myself and learn the language of colour and clothes, allowing them to work FOR me instead of against me. The transformation was immense. Understanding which outfits could give me that million-dollar feeling on purpose made all the difference. No more guesswork, no more trial and error—just pure, effortless dressing for joy. 
 
Through this journey, I developed my four-step Project FAB! framework to help other women navigate their wardrobes with ease. I wanted to offer a shortcut to looking good and feeling FAB! It was the answer I needed in those WTF days. 
 
Embrace Your Unique Style 
 
Learning what works for you and WHY can be a game-changer. The science of style teaches us that our clothing choices can affect our mood, confidence, and even how others perceive us. Research shows that colours can evoke emotions; for example, wearing red may boost your confidence and assertiveness, while soft blues can promote calmness and tranquillity. Understanding the psychology behind colour and how it interacts with your personal brand can empower you to make more intentional choices. 
 
Imagine saying goodbye to: 
 
🦩 Wasting money on clothes that remain unworn at the back of the wardrobe. 
🦩 Settling for outfits that merely make you feel “OK.” 
🦩 Stressing over what to wear for an important event. 
 
Instead, you can embrace a wardrobe that empowers you. Picture yourself liberated, confident, and COMFYDENT (comfortable and confident) with a wardrobe that truly reflects who you are. With the party season fast approaching, now is the perfect time to create this fabulous feeling for yourself. 

The Significance of Clothing Choices 

When it comes to dressing for events like speaking engagements or festive gatherings, your outfit choice can set the tone for the entire occasion. Wearing a ‘Goldilocks, just right outfit’ will not only boost your confidence but also communicates something about who you are. It’s a visual representation of your personality, style and attitude. Ultimately it’s an expression of who you are as a person. 
 
The science of style can also highlight the importance of fit and silhouette if that’s your thing. Although I’m not a stickler for the “rules”, we can look at proportion and ratio if you’re interested. For some people understanding why a certain length feels better is a confidence boost in itself because you can then make informed decisions. You then choose clothes that not only look good but also help you feel good. 
 
For others well-fitting clothes can create a sense of balance and harmony, enhancing your natural shape and then you feel more at ease and comfortable in your own skin. Wearing clothes that work with your body shape can significantly impact your confidence level, especially if you have areas you’re not happy with. There are lots of tips and tricks to enhance and detract from that are simple to use. When you feel good in what you're wearing, it shows in your posture, body language and interactions with other folk. 

The Psychology Behind the Question 

Asking, “What are you wearing?” goes beyond curiosity and nosiness. It taps into the deeper social dynamics and psychological motivations that underpin our interactions. There are several psychological factors at play when we talk about outfit choices before an event: 
 
Social Bonding: This question is a form of connection. Sharing outfit details can foster a sense of camaraderie among women. It’s a way to open up a conversation and strengthen relationships through mutual support and understanding. By discussing what we are wearing in the Facebook group beforehand, we are creating a shared experience that reinforces social bonds. 
 
Validation and Reassurance: We might be seeking validation from our peers when preparing for important events. Asking *the question* can provide reassurance and help alleviate anxiety. When we know what our friends plan to wear, it can make us feel more confident about our own choices. It can help create a safety net where we can gauge what’s acceptable and relevant, easing the stress many of us experience when dressing  for a special occasion or significant event. 
 
Comparative Analysis: Some folk compare themselves with others as a way to evaluate their self-worth. In the context of personal style, asking about an outfit can lead to informal comparisons that help women assess their own style choices. While this comparisonitis can sometimes make us feel down, it can sometimes motivate us to feel inspired and make changes – especially if we analyse what we admire in others and translate that into our own style recipe. 
 
Cultural and Social Norms: Societal expectations play a significant role in how women approach dressing for events. Especially if you consider clothing as a reflection of someone’s social status or professional identity.  You might feel pressure to meet certain standards, to follow expected dress codes in specific ways. Understanding this context can be important to help you navigate your wardrobe choices with clarity so that you don’t feel uncomfortable in the situation or environment. 
 
The Role of Self-Identity: Clothing is a powerful tool for expressing our identity (my favourite topic!). When we ask about outfit choices, we are often exploring how our peers define themselves through the way the dress. It can be a way to learn from each other and to experiment with personal style. When you feel that your outfits are a reflection of your personality discussing your choices can offer insights into how they are perceived by others. These conversations can spark creativity and inspire changes in our own wardrobes, sometimes giving us the confidence to try something new. 
 
Anticipation of Shared Experiences: This, for me, is the best one - knowing what friends are wearing can heighten the anticipation and excitement for an event. It sets a kind if “pre-party”  tone and creates an environment where people feel like they’ve bonded beforehand. This shared understanding can help people feel connected and aligned which enhances the overall experience. It can turn a gathering into a memorable occasion where everyone feels fabulous and confident amongst friends. 

Tips for Choosing the Perfect Outfit 

Comfort is Key: Ensure that whatever you choose fits well and feels good. Confidence stems from comfort, so don’t shy away from prioritising this. You don’t want to be constantly fiddling and adjusting your clothes to maintain your look.  Fabrics that move with you can also make a difference; think about breathable materials that feel good against your skin. 
 
Choose Your Power Colour Palette: Knowing which colours work for you can be a game-changer. Choose hues that complement your eyes and skin tone, I have several blogs about this. If you’re not sure then think about investing in a colour analysis session with me. 
 
Your Body Shape: Understanding your body shape and choosing clothes that enhance your favourite features can help you feel more confident. Think about your quiet and party zones – keep the party where your favourite bits are, keep it quiet where you’re not fussed. EG nice rack but not happy with your belly- show a bit of cleavage or wear a statement necklace/earrings to draw the attention upwards. 
 
Accessorise Wisely: Accessories can elevate any outfit. A statement necklace or handbag can make a simple outfit look stunning. Choose accessories that resonate with your style personality and are the right scale for your size to enhance your overall look. Remember Elizabeth Taylor's saying “Big girls need big diamonds.” 
 
Overcoming Anxiety Around Dressing for Events 
 
We’ve all been there—don’t let the anxiety of not knowing what to wear  be overwhelming and spoil the fun. To combat this, try the following strategies: 
 
Plan Ahead: Don’t leave your outfit choice until the last minute. Lay out your outfit at least a few days before the event to avoid last-minute panic. Have a try on trial run, with all your potential outfits including accessories to see how everything works together. 
 
Involve Others: Reach out to friends who are trusted confidants for input but choose them wisely, no frenemies who might steer you in the wrong direction or family members who are lacking in tact. Sometimes, an outside perspective can provide the reassurance you need as long as they are kind,  yet truthful, with their feedback. As I mentioned previously, sharing outfit options with friends can also foster a sense of camaraderie and support. 
 
Focus on Your Strengths: Remember what makes you feel good. Whether it’s a particular colour, style, or fabric, keep that in mind as you choose your outfit. Reflect on past events where you felt particularly confident and draw inspiration from those experiences. 
The Role of Community & Support 
The journey to finding your unique style doesn’t have to be done on your own. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community that understands the challenges of dressing  can be a fun experience. Whether it’s a close group of friends or an online community like my recently launched Joyful Wardrobe Collective, sharing your experiences can foster encouragement and boost your confidence. It’s an online forum with a monthly theme, but also where you can exchange ideas and tips with like-minded women. The support you receive can be invaluable, making the process of dressing for events much more enjoyable. 
 
As we approach the festive season and a whirlwind of events, remember that your outfit can be a source of empowerment rather than stress. Embrace your unique style and use clothing as a tool for self-expression. I encourage you to take some time to invest in YOU. 
 
The principles of my Project FAB! framework are accessible through my book, the aforementioned Joyful Wardrobe Collective £35pcm, or personalised coaching sessions—there’s something for every budget. 
 
What are you wearing for your next important event? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider booking a style strategy session to discover how to make your wardrobe work for you. Let’s transform that outfit anxiety into FABULOUS confidence! 
FAB Business Club : female authentic ballsy 
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It's a supportive business network with personal development and a heart centred vibe at the core of the community – no pressured referrals or other stuff you don’t like about networking. It’s birds of a feather networking and growing their businesses together, sharing collective wisdom, a place to thrive and celebrate camaraderie. It’s a space where you feel like you have come home. 
 
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