The Silent Sabotage of a Misaligned Wardrobe
“Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.”
Rachel Zoe once said, “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.”
Yet, how many of us, who have got to where we are in life—accomplished, experienced, and confident in so many areas—are still showing up in clothes that whisper instead of declare. How many of us are still making do with outfits that are just OK on the whole? Perhaps, every now and again showing up with ‘Here I am’ energy, rather than it being the everyday norm.
I’d put money on the fact that you’ve probably not played small in your life. You’ve been through hard ‘stuff’, earned your success, navigated challenges, and possibly even done the inner work. You know who you are at your core. But I’d also put money on the fact that your wardrobe doesn’t reflect that.
Have a think - when you get dressed each morning, can you hand on heart say that your outfit amplifies your essence? Is what you wear expressing your energy, your authority, your evolution? Or is it all just a bit meh? More often than not actually dulling your presence and leaves you blending into the background. And when your wardrobe—or your life—stops reflecting you, it can chip away at your confidence in ways you don’t even realise.
I know exactly what it feels like to lose yourself—bit by bit, so subtly that you don’t even realise it’s happening. The Lisa I once was—spontaneous, creative, confident—had started to slip away. I lost my sense of self, dimming my light to fit into spaces that weren’t really right for me.
In 2006, when we’d just moved into our new build home aka magnolia shell. We were in Homebase, shopping for curtain poles. They had mix-and-match finials (the decorative knobs for the ends of the poles). And to my delight, I spotted a glitter option. Glitter! That tiny detail, that little shimmer of self-expression, felt like me. But my then-husband thought they’d be “too much.”
I didn’t argue. I didn’t push back. We left with the plain ones.
It seems trivial, but looking back, it wasn’t about the curtain poles. It was about how much of myself I’d stopped fighting for. I had already lost myself. I was diluting my personality, compromising my identity in small, everyday ways. Somewhere along the way, I’d dulled my own sparkle, moulding myself into what I thought was acceptable, reasonable, ‘appropriate.’
In my work I see this same quiet dilution has happened to so many individuals. Not because they don’t care about how they look, but because somewhere along the way, they started playing safe and making do. Shrinking. Settling. Other things became a priority and before you know it you are dressing to blend in rather than to be seen.
The Silent Sabotage of a Misaligned Wardrobe
I’m here now to tell you this, clothes are never just clothes. They’re energy. They’re identity. The way you dress is the visual manifestation and representation of everything you’ve worked for, everything you are, and everything you’re stepping into next.
A wardrobe that doesn’t match your energy, your success, your essence is more than just an aesthetic mismatch. It’s an unconscious act of self-sabotage.
I know this because I’ve lived it.
There was a time when my wardrobe was a sea of ‘slimming’ black, as dark as my mood. My self-worth was at an all-time low. I avoided mirrors. I told myself that life would be better if only I lost weight. I shrank—physically, emotionally, stylistically.
A year or so later, after the glitter finials incident, something shifted. During a three-week trip to Spain, I had time to think. To really think. And I realised something, What you’re not changing, you’re choosing. I couldn’t keep waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect body, the perfect circumstances to start feeling like me again.
I needed to take action. I went back to teaching, reconnected with what I loved, and bit by bit, I started to rebuild my confidence. My self-worth. My sense of identity and all was well for a while. But it took hitting rock bottom a few years later for me to truly see myself again.
2013 was my annus horribilis. I was trapped in a toxic work environment, suffering under the weight of a blame culture and workplace bullying so insidious that I didn’t even recognise it for what it was. Then, in the middle of all that, my marriage ended. My husband left. My job crumbled. I was suddenly a single parent with no income and no plan.
But in this shit storm of what was going on in my life, I realised something, this was my opportunity to reclaim myself. Now, I had the chance to rebuild—on my terms.
The Shift That Changed Everything
So, I started. Slowly. Tentatively. I set myself up in business and that was part of my rehab.
I volunteered at my local Mind charity shop, styling mannequins in the window—a tiny spark of creative joy. I taught makeup classes to cancer patients through the Look Good Feel Better charity. I turned my kitchen into a classroom for beginners’ drawing classes. I did whatever I could to keep going, pay the mortgage, rebuild my confidence and rediscover myself.
And that rediscovery included my wardrobe because I had to walk the talk.
I stopped waiting for a ‘future’ version of me to be worthy of wearing clothes that made me feel good. I started dressing for the person I was becoming, not just the person I had been.
And that shift? It changed everything.
Since that turning point, I’ve:
Built my business from the ground up, helping others find their authentic style.
Raised over £15k for cancer charities through my annual clothes swap events.
Published Project FAB! No More Making Do- my book on personal style and self-expression.
Created the FAB Business Club, a supportive network of women empowering women.
Appeared on TV, radio, and podcasts, sharing my message of self-expression and confidence.
And the best part? I still feel, in my 60th year that this is just the beginning.
If you’d told me 12 years ago that this is where I’d be, I wouldn’t have believed you. And now? I’m asking myself what else is possible?
The Icing on the Cake AND the Cherry on Top
So you see, I’ve had a couple of reinventions in my life, and it’s taken a lot of work to be the woman I am today. I’ve fought my way back. Not just to where I’d been before—but beyond. I’ve rebuilt my confidence, my career, my life on my own terms. My wardrobe has been a big part of that.
It isn’t just about looking good. It’s about showing up as the person you know you are, without hesitation, without playing small, without diluting your presence to fit outdated narratives about ageing, visibility, and personal style.
I genuinely believe that when your wardrobe is in alignment, something shifts. You stand differently. You move differently. You radiate confidence, ease, and that je ne sais quoi that makes people take notice. Not because you’re wearing something loud or attention-seeking—but because your presence is undeniable.
Are You Ready for That Shift?
I see so many accomplished individuals wearing wardrobes that don’t match their brilliance. Clothes that are ‘fine,’ but don’t spark anything. Outfits that blend into the background instead of announcing their presence. But you haven’t come this far to only come this far.
I help my clients create wardrobes that energise, inspire, and empower them to take up space—unapologetically. This isn’t about reinvention—it’s about realignment. About making sure the way you present yourself tells the world exactly who you are.
It’s time to step into your next chapter fully aligned—with a wardrobe that reflects the real you. The one who isn’t just nicely dressed, but fully self-expressed. Because that’s where the magic happens. I know, because I lived it.
FAB Business Club : female authentic ballsy
This community is really special. It's got the most amazing vibe going on. It’s a safe space where you can metaphorically fling off your bra. It’s women empowering women and providing a circle of support because being in business can be a lonely place.
It's a supportive business network with personal development and a heart centred vibe at the core of the community – no pressured referrals or other stuff you don’t like about networking. It’s birds of a feather networking and growing their businesses together, sharing collective wisdom, a place to thrive and celebrate camaraderie. It’s a space where you feel like you have come home.
We have monthly meetings, online and face to face events. Your first meeting is free, hit me up for a complimentary 'Golden Ticket' to see if we're a good fit.
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Tagged as: Comfydence, Confidence, Dopamine Dressing, How to..., Love Yourself, Personal Brand, Style
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