Reclaiming Your Style, Sparkle and Self-Expression in Midlife
The “Treble F” Era: Fat, Fed Up and Frumpy
That chapter I don’t want to relive—but might need to unpack.
There was a time I refer to in my Project FAB! Book as my “Treble F” phase—Fat, Fed Up, and Frumpy. Not the happiest chapter of my life, but an important one and a big part of why I do what I do now. In my younger days, I'd have described myself as spontaneous, sassy, creative, full of life even. But somewhere along the line, that version of me quietly slipped into the background.
The decline hadn’t been overnight. It was a slow fade. The combination of life, motherhood, my relationship and responsibilities, all the things that chip away at your identity without you even noticing. And while I was going through the motions, I’d stopped showing up as me.
I’d gained a lot of weight during pregnancy, which was affecting my self-image. My self-confidence had already seemed to have left my body around the same time I’d been involved in an accident on the motorway the year before my pregnancy. My mental health was suffering too. It was layers of stuff all coming together to form the Treble F Trilogy.
The Moment I Knew I’d Dimmed My Light
When glitter curtain poles became the turning point.
Looking back, there was a definite incident where it is blindingly obvious to me now. See what you think...
Back in 2006 we were moving house. I had a choice, another character property with all the charming woodchip chaos they provide , or a new build that would feel like a clean slate to make my mark on and be uber low on maintenance. After 14 years of draughty windows, quirky light switches, on street parking (outside the house if you were lucky and a (now ex) husband with the DIY skills of a potato, I chose fresh start over fixer-upper.
Moving into that new build basically felt like a magnolia box with plumbing. But to me, it wait also an opportunity. A lovely blank canvas to add personality to. One of the first jobs was to get something up at the French windows either end of the open plan living room/kitchen so we didn’t feel like we were in a goldfish bowl.
I remember being in Homebase, we found some brushed stainless steel curtain poles. I was thrilled to see there was a choice of perspex finials (the end, stopper bits) including a glitter option! That tiny bit of sparkle felt like a mini rebellion. A glimmer of the old me trying to peek through.
But my husband at the time? “They’re a bit much,” he said. And I let it go. No glitter. No sparkle. No old me.
Many years later, I remembered that moment and it has stayed with me, not because it was about curtain poles, but because it reflected how much I’d dimmed my light. His more conservative taste and fear of judgement had rubbed off on me.
But as you know, there’s a happy ending.
Why it’s never too late to remember who you are.
Reclaiming My Sparkle (With Knobs On)
A few years after the glitter finial day I reclaimed my sparkle. Found myself again, with knobs on (literally—my second husband, bless him, fully backs my glitter pole choices).
Here’s why I share this with you...
Because so many of the individuals I work with are in that same lost place. Accomplished, capable, but disconnected from who they really are. They want more- more alignment, more joy, more them. But they’re nervous, there are hesitations. And I get it because I’ve been there.
Common Fears That Hold You Back
You’re not the only one thinking these things, promise. Here are a few of the common fears they share with me (sometimes sheepishly, like they’re the only ones):
“I Should Know How to Dress Myself by Now…”
Why style isn't about rules—it’s about you.
You’d be surprised how many people say this. Even ones who’ve had their colours done or worked with other stylists in the past. But it’s not about a checklist of ‘rules’ that you find in those “10 Things Every Woman Needs In Her Wardrobe” or “What to Wear for the 50+ Woman”. It’s about understanding your Style Recipe, the psychology, the science, the soul behind what you need to make up your unique personal style.
“I Feel Guilty Spending Money on Myself…”
Let’s reframe the cost of putting yourself last.
This one hits hard because I’ve felt it too, like so many other women who are not used to putting themselves high up on their priority list. But lets flip this, what’s the cost of not doing it? The wasted clothes, the knock to your confidence, the ‘making do’ instead of lighting yourself up.
Investing in yourself isn’t selfish. It’s smart because when you feel good, everything improves - your presence, your energy, your relationships, your work. It’s not vanity. It’s visibility.
“It Feels Vain…”
Style is about connection, not ego.
Nope. This isn’t about flaunting or fishing for compliments. It’s about connection. How you show up in the world. How aligned your outer expression is with your inner essence.
It's not about keeping up with trends or who wore what on the red carpet. It’s about helping you feel grounded and gorgeous, 100% comfortable in your own skin on your terms.
“It Might Seem Frivolous or Shallow to Others…”
Why dimming your light for other people’s comfort doesn’t serve anyone.
That kind of thinking is exactly why you’ve lost touch with your style in the first place. You’ve been prioritising everyone else, dimming your individuality, and blending in to avoid judgement. But what if you didn’t? What if you allowed yourself to be seen? Fully. Authentically. Unapologetically.
“What If You Tell Me I Can’t Wear What I Love?”
Spoiler alert: I won’t. But I will help you wear it in a way that works.
I won’t. That’s not how I work. This isn’t Trinny and Susannah, twenty years ago, dragging you into a 360 mirror. I don’t ‘tell’, it’s not about “shoulds” and rules. I’ll guide you and help you understand what feels right for you so you can make your own empowered choices.
Chances are, it’s not that everything in your wardrobe is “wrong” anyway- it’s probably just not working together how you’d like it to in an ideal world. I help you make sense of it. Reconnecting the dots and building outfits that make your heart sing and give you regular stylegasms.
The Real Reason You Still Feel Stuck (Even After the Books, Blogs and Stylists)
It’s not you. It’s the one-size-fits-all advice.
The truth is most of my clients come to me after trying everything else. They’ve read the books, followed the influencers, watched videos on YouTube, been to John Lewis for a free styling session but yet, they still feel stuck.
There’s always a moment that tips the balance. For some, it’s a milestone birthday or a shift in a relationship. For others, it’s stepping up in business, showing up on camera, or simply wanting to feel like themselves again.
The Moment You Decide to Step Into Your Power
Because you can be more than just ‘nicely dressed’.
Whatever your moment is, know that it’s valid. You’re not alone. You’re not the only one who’s ended up in the ‘just nicely dressed’ camp while craving to be fully self-expressed.
Where am I at now? I’m living in a house full of joy, colour and personality with a soulmate who doesn’t just tolerate my sparkle, he celebrates it. Glitter poles and all.
You can get back to your sparkle too.
Your Sparkle Isn’t Lost—It’s Just Sleeping
And when you’re ready to wake her up, I’m here. When you decide it’s time to get help around reconnecting with your style, identity and presence, let’s chat. I promise you, there’s a version of you just waiting to come out and play and she’s bloody fabulous!
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