In the rollercoaster world of being a business owner or in leadership, it’s easy to feel like you need to be unshakeable. You’re showing up each day, needing to inspire confidence and drive results, even if, underneath it all, you’re feeling a bit meh. So many of us end up putting on a mask each morning, out of fear that someone, somewhere, might see a “less than” side and mistake it for weakness. But here’s the truth: that mask ain’t helping anyone. Least of all, you. 

 

Perhaps you’ve started to hear it, that little “Jiminy Cricket” inner voice telling you that things need to shift. You’re tired of putting yourself last, always making sure everyone else is sorted while you’re running on near empty. It’s time to reconnect with your true, powerful self—your queen power. And no, it doesn’t require armour or a hard faced front. It’s about showing up in all your strength, your softness, and your boundaries firmly in place. 

 

 

I was brought up in the north west in a typically working class home where you put your head down and just got on with it. We weren’t allowed to cry or you’d “get something to cry about”. Emotions were for the weak. As such, like many other people I speak to, I used to think that vulnerability wasn’t for the boardroom or business. You show a crack, it might as well be the end of your credibility. 

 

Does any of that resonate? Is it the same type of mask you’re wearing? If so, it could be keeping you from feeling genuinely connected, not just to others but to yourself. Power, courage and true strength isn’t pretending you’ve got it all together; it’s knowing when to let go and just be real. 

 

Imagine how different things could be if you could show up as you are—raw, resilient, and human. You’d give others permission to do the same. Wouldn’t that be a relief? No more pretending or playing by someone else’s rules. Your strength is in your authenticity and includes your softer side. When you start to honour all the parts of yourself, you’ll find that the people who matter most will respect you even more. 

Let’s talk about self-care. And you’ll know by now I don’t just mean bubble baths (unless that’s your thing – sometimes a deep one filled with Neal’s Yard, surrounded by candkes and a glass of Sauvignon is just the ticket). I’m talking about genuinely valuing yourself and knowing that your needs matter. Think of it like this - every time you place yourself at the bottom of the list, you’re telling yourself (and everyone else) that you’re somehow not worth it.  But, my dear, always remember that you’re the queen of your own world! Your wellbeing is essential for you to be firing on all cylinders, and when you honour that, you’re setting a new standard—one that says, “I’m worth it.” 

 

So first off you need to get comfortable with saying “no” without the guilt, and then setting time aside that’s just for you. Self-care doesn’t have to be some elaborate ritual, you don’t have to go on a retreat and do yoga with goats or just eat quinoa for a week,  it’s about choosing to give yourself what you need. And, yes, I appreciate that may take some getting used to, but it is your time now. 

 

 

Let’s be honest, boundaries can feel a bit awkward at first, especially if your friends/family/clients/co-workers are not used to you having them. But here’s the thing -  boundaries under pin self-respect. They’re not walls to put up and shut yourself off, they’re bridges between where you are and where you deserve to be. 

 

If you’ve spent years saying “yes” to everything and everyone, then yes, this will all feel very different. Think of boundaries as little reminders to yourself (and the world) that you are worthy. Each “no” you say isn’t shutting someone out,  it’s saying “yes” to what matters most - your time, your energy, your peace. 

 

Imagine saying, “This is what I need to be my best self,” and actually meaning it. No apology. No explanation. Just pure, unapologetic self-respect. Because, my love, when you respect yourself, you’ll find others follow suit. 

 

 

Before you dive into that endless to-do list, take a moment to acknowledge something about yourself. Maybe it’s the way you handled yesterday’s challenges, or maybe it’s simply showing up, day after day. It’s these small reminders that build the habit of valuing yourself daily. Acknowledge these things as you would if you were giving a friend a pep talk. 

 

 

Take a good look at everything on your plate and ask yourself: “How is this serving me?” The things that drain you, that pull you out of alignment with who you are, let them go. When you start focusing on what genuinely matters to you, everything else begins to fall into place. Doing this can really help you sort the what from the chaff. 

 

 

Just one. Something small but meaningful. Perhaps you’ll stop checking work emails after 6 pm, or maybe you’ll dedicate Saturday mornings just to yourself. Boundaries, like muscles, get stronger with use, every one you set reinforces your worth. I’ve removed my email app off my phone and I switched off messenger on my FB profile ages ago – there’s still loads of ways people can get in touch but it doesn’t intrude on my time anymore. 

 

 

Show up as you are, without the mask. You’d be surprised at how people respond when you’re unapologetically yourself. It can be terrifying at first, but the quality of your connections will deepen, and you’ll feel freer than you’ve ever felt. As the years have gone on, I’ve become more me than ever. I worry less now about the opinion of others than I ever have. It’s very liberating. 

 

 

Progress isn’t all about giant steps and massive leaps. It’s in every little choice you make to value yourself, every “no” you say without guilt, every moment you put your needs first. Celebrate these wins, because each one is a step closer to reclaiming your queen power.So, where does this leave us? With the Queen power you’ve always had but maybe lost a bit along the way. Queen power is about embracing all of who you are, the strength and the softness, with all your brilliance and a few imperfections on the side. It’s about stepping nto your day knowing you’re enough, that you’re worthy, and that you don’t need anyone else’s permission to rock it and own it. 

 

When you start treating yourself with the respect and care you deserve, something incredible happens. You attract people who value you, not just for what you do for them but for who *YOU* are. You stop worrying about others’ perceptions because you know you’re living your truth.  And that, my lovely, is where the magic happens. 

I’ve learnt over the years that this journey of self-worth and self-respect isn’t a quick fix, nor is it about some final destination. It’s work in progress, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. Each choice you make to honour yourself, to show up authentically, and to live by your own standards brings you closer to the life you deserve, it also sets an example for our kids to follow. 

 

So, here’s my invitation to you, step into your queen power every day like a pair of comfy slippers. Embrace your worth, set those boundaries, and stop apologising for needing what you need. Because, my lovely, when you live by your own standards, the world can’t help but follow. And there is no greater power than a woman who knows her worth. 

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