FFS: Reclaiming "Flattering" and Redefining Your Style Confidence
Let’s talk about a word that crops up a lot when we are talking about clothes- “flattering”. It's part of my Project FAB! framework, nestled under the SHAPE category. I call it FFS Figure Flattering Styling and I use the acronym very intentionally.
BECAUSE if you reflect on what the word actually means and look it up in the dictionary, it says things like: enhancing someone’s appearance, showing to advantage, and here’s the eyebrow raiser - making someone look better than in reality.
So it got me thinking, who decides what “better” looks like? Surely that’s just personal taste or opinion?
And if we tell someone that dress is “flattering” … is that a compliment or a judgement? That’s the rabbit hole I want to go down today.
Is it flattering or just internalised BS?
I saw an old school image consultant refer to “figure faults”. Let that land. Paying someone to look you up and down, decide what’s “wrong” with you, and tell you how to dress accordingly? Erm, no thanks.
That’s not empowerment, that’s judgy. It’s outdated, unhelpful, and frankly, a bit gross.
My work is about supporting you to feel confident, not critiqued. You already have enough voices in your head doing that job for free. I call them the SID’s (Self Image Demons). You don’t need me adding to their chorus.
SID’s: The mean girls in your mind
SID’s are those nasty little whispers reminding you of something someone once said decades ago:
“You’ve got tree trunk legs.”
“Your arms are too flabby for sleeveless.”
“Red shoes? Only tarts wear those.”
We laugh at those old-school beliefs now, but they’ve still got a hold on us. Often, they were passed down from well-meaning mothers and aunties who had their own conditioning. They were the “appearance gatekeepers” when we were growing up.
But the truth is you’re a grown woman now. A strong, independent woman. You get to decide what’s right for you. Let go of that old emotional baggage. It’s not helping you.
“The advice you've given me has always been extremely helpful. And couched compassionately. I've felt uplifted by it, not hurt, because I felt supported not bullied.” Katherine
Blame the media, not your thighs
Things are getting slightly better these days, but we're bombarded with unrealistic ideals from every angle, airbrushed magazines, filtered selfies, algorithms favouring one particular kind of beauty.
And even when fashion brands do try to “celebrate curves,” they still tend to pick models who have flat stomachs, in-and-out hourglass shapes, and flawless symmetry. Where are the soft bellies and jiggly thighs? The stretch marks? The menopause waistlines?
Spoiler: they’re not in the campaigns, but they ARE in the mirror - and that’s what really matters.
The politics of “plus-size” and the power of perspective
Let’s not sugarcoat it, the fashion world is still catching up. There’s progress, yes, but we’re miles from where we need to be. And don’t get me started on how the term “plus-size” is used to mean anyone size 14 upwards. Give over.
At least we’ve moved on from calling it the Stoutwear Department like they did back in the early 20th century. Small mercies.
All that said, we don’t need to wait for the industry to catch up or get the permission of magazine editors before we start feeling good. We can claim our power now. Starting with knowing what works for our shape and style.
How to actually tell your body shape (hint: not with a tape measure)
Let’s talk about shape. Not fruit, just shape.
I use letters. It’s part of the FFS system:
H, I, O, V, A, X.
Why letters? Because they’re neutral. No one feels judged being told they’re an H. But being called a “brick”? Yeah, not helpful.
Here’s a quick way to figure out your shape:
1. Stand in your undies or leggings and a fitted top, take a full-length photo.
2. Imagine a vertical line dropping from your shoulders.
3. Where do your hips land in relation to that line?
• H/I – Straight up and down – in line with your shoulders
• O – Rounded midsection, slimmer hips – no indentation at waist
• V – Broad shoulders, hips that are narrower than shoulders
• A – Narrow shoulders, wider hips
• X – Defined waist, balanced shoulders and hips
This is about visual silhouette, not numbers. Tape measures don’t provide the silhouette.
It’s not about hiding—it’s about highlighting
Once you know your shape, FFS helps you figure out how to balance your proportions- *IF* that’s something that matters to you.
• Avoid horizontal lines (like hemlines or ankle straps) at your widest points
• A scoop hemline that hits at your high hip (where your hip bone starts) can work wonders
• A column of colour (same colour top and bottom) avoids the 50:50 “cut in half” effect
• A 60:40 silhouette will elongate your legs
But (and this is crucial) it’s only relevant if you want it to be. These are tools, not commandments.
“I love that whatever question I ask (and there have been many over the years) YOU give both the theory and the application as it applies to me … that my fabulous friend is brilliance in action and just one of the many reasons you are so great at what you do.” Jenny
Your body isn’t broken. The clothes might be.
So many women come to me frustrated by shopping. You try on item after item, nothing fits quite right, and you leave the changing room feeling deflated. Maybe even tearful. It’s not that your body is the problem. It’s that the clothes aren’t designed with you in mind.
That’s why understanding FFS helps. You learn to filter faster. You know which shapes to skip. You avoid wasting money on clothes that never leave the hanger. It might also be useful to accept that you need to add ‘alteration tax’ to the price and pay someone who can sew to shorten or take things in etc.
When you feel good in your clothes you gain confidence – remember ‘enclothed cognition’. Not because you’ve changed, but because you’ve started working with your body, not against it.
Wear what lights you up - even if it breaks the “rules”
Here’s where we burn the handbook…
I’m an O shape. By the rules, I “shouldn’t” wear ankle straps or fitted waistlines.
But I LOVE ankle strap shoes. I own five pairs. They bring me joy.
And when I got married (and turned 50, and went to my sister’s wedding), I wore 50s-style dresses with nipped-in waists. Technically not “flattering” for my shape, but I felt bloody fabulous. And that’s what matters.
From WTF to FFS
Let’s tie it all together:
• BS = Body Shape
• FFS = Figure Flattering Styling
• WTF = Wardrobe That’s Failing
We use FFS to work with your BS and fix your WTF. No shame. No judgement. Just clarity, confidence, and maybe a little bit of sass.
This isn’t about playing dress-up or trying to shrink ourselves down. This is about reclaiming our wardrobes as tools for self-expression and self-respect.
It’s about saying no to SID’s, yes to clothes that feel good, and remembering that your style doesn’t have to follow rules imposed by anyone else, it just has to feel like YOU.
So the next time you ask yourself, “Is this flattering?”
Maybe ask instead: “Do I feel powerful in this?”
That’s the flamingo energy we’re going for. Always.
Want some help figuring out your shape and style?
Come chat to me. I promise you’ll get support, not scrutiny. Tools, not rules. And a whole lot of cheering you on as you rediscover the joy hiding in your wardrobe.
Because life’s too short for clothes that don’t make you feel fabulous.
Share this post: