How to Shift From Just Nicely Dressed
Questions About Clothes & Style
If you’re anything like Fiona (my imaginary friend that sits across from me as I’m writing my stuff) i.e. busy, accomplished, and ready for stepping into your next amazing chapter—then you’ve probably got questions about clothes and style that no one seems to answer properly.
All the stuff you see is fashion led, what to wear this winter, this season’s must haves, outfit of the day etc etc. Or it’s “telling” you what to wear not taking anything about your life/likes into consideration, or maybe saying “you do you, go girl” but you’re not sure what *you* actually is.
Also, you know you’re ready to level up how you show up, but there’s perhaps a niggling gap between the confident, brilliant individual you are and how you actually feel when you look in the mirror.
Sound familiar? If so, this week’s blog is for you. I’m answering the questions I know you’re asking, and I’m doing it with you in mind. No fluff. No judgment. Just answers that will help you feel clearer, hopefully inspired, and possibly excited to take the next step.
Is Your Wardrobe Holding You Back?
1. How do I know if my wardrobe is holding me back from showing up as my best self?
Your clothes should energise and empower you. Full stop. If you open your wardrobe and feel overwhelmed, uninspired, or like you’re defaulting to the same few outfits, then it’s holding you back.
The litmus test is this:
Do your clothes feel aligned with who you are now, not who you were 10 years ago?
Do you feel visible, confident, and authentic when you leave the house?
Do you get compliments that feel like they see you—“Wow, you look so YOU today!”?
If not, your wardrobe might be lagging behind the version of you that’s ready to step forward. That’s where my work comes in—bridging that gap and helping you look as brilliant as you feel.
2. I’ve got lots of clothes, but I still struggle to put outfits together. Where should I start?
This is so common. You’re not alone. The first step is not to buy more. Instead, take a fresh look at what you already own.
Start with joy. Go through your wardrobe and pull out the clothes that make your heart sing—the pieces you feel fabulous in, even if you don’t wear them often. It might be as simple as you’ve got lots of Wardrobe Heroes (statement pieces) and lacking in Supporting Cast (everyday basics).
Next step is identify the magic. What do these pieces have in common? Is it the colour, the cut, the fabric? This is a clue to what works for you.
Curate outfits. Once you know what you love and why you love it, it’s easier to build around it. I often guide my clients through this process in our sessions. It’s about reconnecting with you first and creating outfits that reflect your essence.
3. I want to feel confident and visible, but not overdressed or ‘trying too hard’. How can I find that balance?
This is all about ‘comfydence’ or ‘happy high status’—the sweet spot between confidence, ease, and authority. It’s not about wearing loud clothes or ‘fashionable’ trends. It’s about wearing what feels intentional.
The balance comes when your clothes:
Reflect your personality—your unique style essence.
Suit the occasion—whether that’s a business meeting, coffee with friends, or a speaking gig.
Make you feel like yourself—but the elevated, best version of you.
When I work with clients, we focus on making clothes a tool for self-expression, not a mask. The result then become comfydence- being comfortable and confident without effort.
Do You Shop Strategically
4. I keep buying new clothes but they don’t seem to work with what I already own. What’s going wrong?
The problem isn’t the clothes; it’s the lack of a strategy. Shopping without clarity is like throwing spaghetti at a wall and hoping it sticks. You end up with, what I call wardrobe ‘Orphans ’, which can also be Hero pieces too, see point 2.
The solution is this - before you buy anything, ask yourself:
Does this piece align with the clothes I already love, my Wardrobe Winners?
Can I wear it with at least three other things I already own?
Does it help me feel confident and very *me*?
Working through my framework means no more impulse buys, no more ‘making do’, and no more wardrobe overwhelm. Instead, you’ll have a wardrobe that’s intentional, energising, and cohesive.
5. Where I’m at now feels like a new beginning, almost like the next chapter and I want a fresh start. How can I refresh my style to reflect who I am now without it feeling weird?
This is your moment to reassess, realign, and celebrate who you’re becoming. Your wardrobe is a reflection of you—so if you’re in a period of growth or reinvention, it makes sense to refresh your style too.
Start with what lights you up. What colours, textures, and shapes make you feel alive?
Declutter the old. Let go of anything that no longer feels aligned with your vision of who you are now.
Embrace the power of dopamine dressing—choosing clothes that boost your mood and confidence.
This isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about expressing the essence of who you’ve always been.
6. I want to look stylish but I’m mindful of budget, especially if I feel like I’m going to be experimenting. Can I elevate my style without overspending?
Absolutely. Style is not about spending more, it’s about spending smarter.
Shop your wardrobe, experiment with your Wardrobe Winners and Style Sleepers. You’ll be amazed at what you already own when you learn to style it differently.
Buy intentionally. Invest in versatile items that work hard for you—clothes you can wear multiple ways and style up and down. I call these Workhorses.
Explore second-hand options. Platforms like Vinted and charity shops are treasure troves when you know what you’re looking for, especially when you’re in your early stages of investigation. As far as I’m concerned sustainability and style can go hand in hand. It’s about creating a wardrobe that works for you in the long term.
Dressing for JOY when you feel fat
7. I’ve gained weight and don’t feel confident in anything. How do I dress for joy when I don’t feel it?
I hear this a lot, please believe me when I say your body is not the problem. Your clothes are. Clothes that don’t fit properly, don’t suit your shape, or don’t reflect your essence will sap your confidence, no matter your size. I spent a long time myself in this mindset, so I know how it feels.
Focus on:
Wearing clothes that fit and flatter you as you are today.
Choosing colours and fabrics that make you feel energised and alive.
Reconnecting with joy in dressing, rather than punishment.
I’ve written a lot about how miserable I’ve been over the years because of my size so I get it, but your body deserves to be acknowledged for how amazing it is and not hidden.
So yes, if it helps you feel better there are lots if tips and tricks we can play around with if you want to learn about the science behind the optical illusions, we can use to make your legs look longer, bum look smaller etc.
8. What’s the difference between ‘nicely dressed’ and being fully self-expressed? How can I get there?
‘Nicely dressed’ is safe. It’s neutral. It’s blending in.
‘Fully self-expressed’ is joyful. It’s confident. It’s magnetic.
It’s the difference between wearing what you think you should wear and wearing what makes you feel alive. When you align your wardrobe with your identity, something shifts. You don’t just look good, you *feel* it. You become unapologetically visible. And that’s powerful.
9. What’s ‘dopamine dressing’, and how can I use it to feel more energised and visible in my daily life?
Dopamine dressing is about wearing clothes that trigger positive emotions—colours, textures, and styles that make you feel good. It’s scientifically proven that what you wear impacts your mood, confidence, and even your performance.
Start by noticing what sparks joy:
What colours make you smile?
What fabrics feel like a treat to wear?
Which outfits make you feel most like yourself?
When you get this right, your wardrobe becomes a source of energy, not stress.
Ready to Elevate Your Style and Step into Your Next Chapter?
If these questions have resonated with you, it’s because you’re ready for a change. You’re ready to feel confident, visible, and fully expressed in the way you show up.
This isn’t about ‘fashion’ or trends. It’s about YOU—how you see yourself, how others see you, and how you move through the world.
If you’re ready to stop ‘making do’ and start showing up as the brilliant, magnetic individual you are, I’d love to guide you through the journey. Let’s create a wardrobe that feels joyful, intentional, and completely you.
Book a Style Strategy Session with me for starters, and let’s start curating your next chapter together.
Click here to book your session or send the link to Santa
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