Do You Own Your Style
“Fashion you can buy, but style you possess."
Iris Apfel famously said:
“Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There’s no how-to roadmap to style. It’s about self-expression and, above all, attitude.”
And that is the difference between getting dressed and truly owning your look.
It’s also why so many people feel lost when it comes to style. They’re looking for a formula, a “right way” to do it. They see these ’10 Things Every Woman Over 50 Should Have in Their Wardrobe’ articles in magazines or videos on YouTube and they think if they just follow the rules—dress for their shape, their age, the occasion—then they’ll finally crack the code.
But there’s no space for you in those things. Where’s the self-expression and essence of you when you’re following some beanpole with a bob’s rules of what makes you stylish?
Style isn’t about following external rules. It’s about creating a deep, personal connection with what you wear. It’s about recognising what makes you feel alive, what allows you to walk into a room with quiet confidence, and what sparks something inside you every single time you get dressed.
If your wardrobe feels uninspiring, it’s not because you don’t care about style. It’s because somewhere along the way, you stopped prioritising yourself in the way you dress.
Here’s how it usually happens:
You’ve defaulted to practicality over personality—your outfits are functional but don’t excite you.
You’ve got a wardrobe full of compromises—things that are ‘okay’ but don’t make you feel amazing.
You’re stuck in habit dressing, wearing the same things on repeat, not because they bring you joy, but because they’re easy.
And over time, these small choices add up. You stop experimenting. You stop wearing things that make you feel excited. And then one day, you wake up and realise that nothing in your wardrobe really feels like you anymore.
The Joy of a Stylegasm
Yes, it’s one of my made-up words. It’s that rush when you slip into something and suddenly feel invincible. You catch yourself smiling in the mirror. You stand taller. You move differently. You radiate confidence. It’s what happens when your clothes aren’t just something you wear but something that brings you joy. If it’s been years since you last had that feeling, something’s got to change.
If it’s been a while since you last had a stylegasm, maybe it’s time for a reset.
To reconnect with your essence.To redefine your style recipe.To step into this next chapter fully aligned—with a wardrobe that makes you feel energised, excited, and 100% you.
The Power of a Style Recipe
Creating your unique style recipe that will help you make signature outfits with your own unique ingredients. Nailing this gives you a sense of freedom and excitement as you are owning and rocking your look on a daily basis, whatever the situation or environment. Your style recipe is all about providing that next level of comfydence.
Comfydence = being comfortable and confident in your chosen outfit
Encapsulate your identity
Your style recipe is about your essence; it’s very personal to you and the ingredients encapsulate your identity, how you see yourself and how you want to be perceived.
It’s just like cooking. You start off with your basic recipe. Then when you know the ingredients needed, you start to experiment with the finer details, adding spices and putting different twists on it depending on your mood. Translate this into your personal appearance, and it gets tweaked depending on the flavour required for each day.
Working out the ingredients required for your personal style recipe helps you put together a cohesive wardrobe that reflects your personality and lifestyle and can be dialled up and down to suit the occasion.
The first steps with any recipe are to figure out how do you want to look. What things do you like? It’s a good idea to think about your past experiences here. What has been memorable and why was it so? Decide on the ‘flavours’ that excite you.
What do your clothes say about you
You might want to think back over your life and consider your favourite ever outfits. What is in your wardrobe now that you love wearing? Why do you love it? What are the textures and styles like? Think about the qualities and properties of your favourite items of clothing or accessories. Notice if you prefer plain conservative neutrals or bold clashing colours, soft and tactile or firmer, more structured fabric etc. Have fun noticing what you are drawn to.
Look at what your clothes say about you now and then consider what you want them to say about you moving forward.
Remember to be realistic. Your style recipe is not just about how you present yourself in public. You need to think about all the different areas of your life – work, play, leisure etc. You’ll need to create a nourishing menu that is not only practical but that you enjoy.
Once you’ve decided what flavours excite you then you can consider the ingredients that you need and how you want to serve it up e.g., no one is going to think of you as creative and quirky if you rock up in a grey business suit. It could just be that changing your jacket to a bolder colour or adding quirky buttons would make you look more creative.
When you know what ingredients, you need to be comfydent then you can start playing around with it, so you vary your signature dishes while still sticking within the guidelines of your style recipe. You’re still dressing like yourself and expressing who you are but in a way that is right for different situations.
Once you have your style recipe nailed it enables you to get dressed each day in an outfit that:
· really suits you and makes you look good and feel fab
· conveys your identity and expresses who you are as a person
· makes you feel empowered and confident
· suits whatever you have got happening that day
When you understand your style recipe, shopping becomes easier. You stop wasting money on things you want to love but never wear. You build a wardrobe that works for you, rather than against you. And most importantly—you start feeling like yourself again.
Your Style Evolves As You Do
It’s also worth remembering that your style recipe probably won’t stay the same forever.
The way you dressed five or ten years ago might not feel right for where you are now. And that’s normal. You’ve evolved. You’ve grown. Your life, your priorities, your energy have all shifted. So why would your wardrobe stay stuck in the past?
Questions to ask yourself every now and again when you are looking at the contents of your wardrobe:
Does this still feel like me?
Does it reflect where I am now?
Does it support the person I’m becoming?
Because if your wardrobe isn’t in alignment with who you are, it’s going to feel like a constant disconnect. And that disconnect shows up in how you move, how you carry yourself, how you feel every day.
At this stage of life, you don’t need a reinvention—you need a realignment. You’ve done the hard work. You’ve built your expertise. You’ve navigated challenges. Now, it’s about making sure that when you walk into a room, your presence is undeniable. Not because you’re wearing something loud or trendy, but because your energy is magnetic.
Because remember, you haven’t come this far to only come this far.
FAB Business Club : female authentic ballsy
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It's a supportive business network with personal development and a heart centred vibe at the core of the community – no pressured referrals or other stuff you don’t like about networking. It’s birds of a feather networking and growing their businesses together, sharing collective wisdom, a place to thrive and celebrate camaraderie. It’s a space where you feel like you have come home.
We have monthly meetings, online and face to face events. Your first meeting is free, hit me up for a complimentary 'Golden Ticket' to see if we're a good fit.
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