It’s one of those quotes that gets thrown around a lot, usually with the best of intentions. A call to authenticity. A reminder to embrace your individuality. Lovely sentiment, isn’t it? But let’s be honest—if it were that simple, we wouldn’t spend half our lives worrying about whether we’re ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’ and worrying about what to wear. 

 

I see this all the time. Brilliant, accomplished individuals who have nailed the work stuff but still hesitate when it comes to how they show up. They play it safe with their clothes, choosing ‘nice’ over ‘noticeable’—because what if people think they’re trying too hard? 

 

And I get it. I’ve been there myself. I remember a time when my wardrobe was okay. You know, my ‘Treble F’ phase—Fat, Fed Up, and Frumpy. My clothes did the job, but they didn’t light me up giving me stylegasms or make me feel like the fabulous, flamingo-loving, leopard-print-wearing, sequinned nutter I often am today. 

 

Because that’s the thing about personal style. It’s not just about clothes. It’s about identity, confidence, and showing up in a way that feels true to you. And as you know I’m 100% here for that—because nothing dims confidence faster than trying to squeeze yourself into someone else’s mould or being a square peg in a round hole. 

 

But there is a fine line between being fully self-expressed and steamrolling into every room like you’re starring in your own personal fashion show. That’s where the magic of reading the room comes in. 

 

But let’s be real about what being yourself actually means. 

 

• It’s not about bulldozing into every room, wearing whatever you fancy, with zero regard for context. 

• It’s not about ignoring social cues or the environment you’re in. 

• Personal style is self-expression, yes, but it’s also communication. 

So how do you strike the balance between being fully self-expressed and reading the room? How do you avoid slipping into 'people-pleasing mode' while still dressing with intention? 

 

I’m assuming that most people reading this will fall into the ‘nicely dressed’ category. You’re here because you’re curious about what I have to say right? You’ve got the basics covered - a decent wardrobe, things that fit, a few reliable outfits that don’t offend anyone. You are more likely to look put-together, polished, presentable rather than looking like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards. But there might be something missing, that extra spark, that magnetic energy that makes you instantly recognisable and fully self-expressed. 

 

‘Nicely dressed’ is safe. It follows (the often unspoken) dress codes, sticks to neutral palettes, and blends in. The black trousers/jeans and a nice top brigade. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, if you’re craving more visibility, more confidence, more YOU in how you show up, just ‘nicely dressed’ doesn’t cut it. 

It’s like when you go to a networking event and see someone in a standard-issue blazer, nice top, and a pair of trousers that say, ‘I made an effort, but not too much.’ Nothing wrong with it. But also… nothing that makes you remember them. 

 

Now, contrast that with someone who walks in, wearing something that instantly says: This is me. Take it or leave it. Maybe it’s a bold colour. A statement accessory. Something that makes you think, ‘Ooooh, I need to know more about this person.’ 

 

That’s what self-expression is about. It’s not about being loud for the sake of it. It’s about alignment—when what you wear feels like an extension of who you are. 

Fully self-expressed means your clothes tell a story. They communicate your identity before you even speak. They carry your energy, your essence. It’s not about dressing loud or quirky for the sake of it (unless that’s your thing). It’s about alignment—what you wear needs to feel like an extension of who you are. 

But here’s where it gets interesting/complicated depending on how you look at it. Just like spoken communication, style isn’t just about self-expression, it’s also about connection. You wouldn’t barge into a quiet library and start shouting your opinions. Equally, you wouldn’t turn up to a high-energy networking event dressed like you’re about to take the dog on a muddy walk (unless that’s your brand, of course). 

 

Being yourself doesn’t mean disregarding context. It means knowing how to dial different aspects of your style up or down, depending on the setting—without losing who you are in the process. 

 

Think of it as Style Recipe Switching. Not in a way that makes you feel inauthentic, but in a way that helps you feel empowered in any space. 

 

• Boardroom vs. Brunch: Maybe your signature style recipe includes bold colours and statement accessories. In a corporate setting, you might channel that into a structured blazer with a pop of colour rather than a head-to-toe print. 

 

• Speaking on Stage vs. Networking: When speaking, you might go for something that makes you feel powerful and memorable, whereas at a more intimate event, you might soften the look while still keeping your signature elements. 

 

• Formal Events vs. Casual Gatherings: Your essence stays the same, but you adapt the styling to fit the energy of the space. 

The key is intentional adaptation, not conformity. 

 

Style is a language. It tells people who you are before you even say a word. But just like spoken communication, it’s not just about what you say—it’s about how it’s received. 

 

A few years ago, I was asked to speak at a corporate event. Now, I love a bit of drama in an outfit, and my usual instinct is to throw on something fabulous, accessorise within an inch of my life, and make sure I’m visible from space. But I also knew my audience—serious, high-achieving corporate types, not necessarily my usual creative crowd of solopreneur speakers and business founders. 

 

So, I adapted. Not by dulling myself down, but by choosing something that still felt me but fitted into their environment too— a well-fitting, plain navy dress, teamed with burgundy suede ankle boots and a multi coloured, Paul Smith striped silk scarf with statement jewellery. My outfit made an impact without screaming ‘LOOK AT ME’. I wasn’t trying to blend in, but I was making sure my message landed without my outfit becoming the only thing people remembered. 

 

It’s a bit like going to a black-tie event in jeans. Yes, you’re making a statement, but is it the right statement? There’s a time and place for rule-breaking—and there’s a time to tweak things just enough so you’re taken seriously, not just seen. 

Dressing for self-expression is about alignment, not necessarily attention-seeking (unless you’re a Dramatic style archetype of course!). It’s not about proving a point or making yourself stand out at any cost. True confidence comes from knowing that you are fully YOU, regardless of the setting. 

 

So next time you’re putting together an outfit, ask yourself: 

 

✔️ Does this feel like me? 

✔️ Does this align with the energy of the space I’m stepping into? 

✔️ Am I adapting in a way that still feels authentic, rather than diluting my essence? 

 

Because self-expression and social awareness aren’t necessarily opposites. They work together. The most magnetic individuals are the ones who are ‘comfydent’ comfortable AND confident, unapologetically themselves and effortlessly in tune with their environment. 

 

So, be yourself. Show up fully. And read the room while you do it. 

 

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It's a supportive business network with personal development and a heart centred vibe at the core of the community – no pressured referrals or other stuff you don’t like about networking. It’s birds of a feather networking and growing their businesses together, sharing collective wisdom, a place to thrive and celebrate camaraderie. It’s a space where you feel like you have come home. 

 

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