If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll be aware that I’ve been talking about the benefits of dressing for joy for ages. And more recently, I’ve actively been focusing on making more time for my creativity by painting for joy and also writing for joy. This past week it has all started to come together for me in a bigger picture. It’s very exciting but I can’t yet reveal the ins and outs, but what I will share with are a few of my thoughts and tips about how you can discover YOUR own joy and bring it into your daily life. 

 

I want you to think of it like this - Joy isn’t a luxury  it’s a necessity. It’s the spark that gets us out of bed each day , the energy that fuels how you show up in the world and the feeling that says this is me, unapologetically. But for many of us especially those navigating life’s challenges joy can feel like a guest we forgot to invite to our own party. 

 

As you may be aware I know that feeling all too well. For years I lived by the “shoulds.” I got into the habit of wearing the ‘slimming black’ practical clothes, ticked the  mum and wife boxes, did what was expected. But it felt like something missing. Joy wasn’t gone she was just buried under layers of duty, people-pleasing, self-doubt, and the slimming black. 

Here’s what I’ve learned since those days-  joy isn’t something you stumble upon. It’s something you choose. You create it, you wear it, live it and speak it. 

 

Most importantly, you notice it. Because that’s where the magic starts in the gratitude and glimmers. 

 

 

Joy doesn’t always arrive with fireworks. Sometimes she tiptoes in quietly in the form of your favourite mug, of a song that gets your foot tapping, a colour that makes you smile, or a moment of sunshine through the kitchen window. 

 

These are what therapist Deb Dana calls glimmers - tiny cues of safety, comfort, and connection that soothe your nervous system and spark joy. They’re the opposite of triggers. And when you learn to spot them, you’ll realise they’re everywhere. Which is why I call them joy glitter. 

 

They’re clues from your nervous system saying ‘ this is good, this is safe, this is you’. For me, it was flamingo wallpaper in my bedroom, wearing sparkly socks under my drab work wear as prison education manager and moments of laughter where I remembered who I was before the world told me to tone it down. 

 

 

“I should wear black - it’s slimming.”“I should act my age.”“I should just be grateful I’ve got a job” 

 

Sound familiar? The “shoulds” are joy’s worst enemy. They’re like joy-sucking tormentors, cloaked in respectability and obligation. 

 

Instead, ask yourself ‘What do I actually want?’Want to wear sequins on a Tuesday? Do it. Want to say no to the Zoom meeting that drains your soul? Permission granted. 

 

Joy thrives in freedom. Let go of the rules that don’t serve you anymore they were probably never yours to begin with. 

 

We tend to think of joy as a big, dramatic feeling. But the truth is, it lives in the details. 

 

One of my daily glimmers is my one cup of strong filtered coffee in my Snoopy Mug. At the other end of the day it’s a crisp, New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc or a G & T in a beautiful crystal glass that feels just a tiny bit extra. Not because I’m celebrating something monumental but because it’s a moment that’s just for me. 

 

Start collecting micro-rituals that feel like tiny love notes to yourself. Wearing a perfume that makes you feel powerful. Playing your favourite track while brushing your teeth. Only using mugs that make you smile. 

 

This way you’re not just going through the motions, you’re anchoring yourself in the present. You’re reminding yourself I’m here and I’m allowed to feel good. 

 

Joy isn’t just for special occasions. It belongs in your Monday morning and your midweek sandwich. 

 

 

Let’s talk clothes. For many of us, joy is hanging in the back of the wardrobe unworn, unloved, and sometimes covered in dry-cleaning plastic. 

 

I call it WTF Syndrome (Wardrobe That’s Failing). You know the feeling, a rammed wardrobe full of clothes but nothing that feels quite right. It’s not that you don’t have options to just get dressed in, it’s that they don’t feel like you anymore or spark any kind of joy whatsoever. You are making do. 

 

But when you put on an outfit that feels like a full-body yes, happy dance stylegasm? That’s a lot more than a glimmer. That’s your inner self saying There she is. That’s me. 

 

A wardrobe glimmer doesn’t have to be a full-on whoop da whoop though. It might be a pair of really soft bamboo socks, some snazzy earrings, or a snuggly comfy fleece hoodie – it all depends on what you need for the day. Your wardrobe should definitely reflect who you are now though - not who you were five years ago or who society says you should be. When you get dressed in alignment with your identity, your whole energy shifts. That’s the science bit “enclothed cognition” and the soul bit, too. 

 

So go on next time you get dressed  wear the colour. Rock the bold print. Dress like joy is your stylist. 

 

Between social media, comparisonitis, and unsolicited advice from well-meaning relatives, it’s easy to lose sight of your own joy. 

 

But joy doesn’t come from what other people think of you. It comes from knowing who you are and honouring that. 

 

Sometimes, you need to step away from the scroll and come back to yourself. Journaling, walking without your phone, playing a song that grounds you or boosts your mood. These are joy anchors or regulation glimmers. Joy doesn’t need to shout. She sometimes whispers. Make space to hear her. 

 

 

Ever been in a room with someone who makes you feel heavier just by breathing near you? They are a drain. Now think of someone whose energy lifts you who makes you laugh until your mascara runs, who sees you. They are a radiator. 

 

You need more radiators in your life. Joy is contagious, but so is misery. Curate your circle. Protect your energy like it’s precious, because it is. 

 

 

We’ve been conditioned to see play as something frivolous and what children do then grow out of.  But it’s actually one of the most powerful tools we have for joy, creativity, and presence. 

 

Play isn’t just about being silly (although silliness is underrated). It’s about doing something just because it feels good. No outcome or productivity, just pleasure. 

 

Try something new just for the sake of it paint, dance, try burlesque or creative writing workshop  like I did recently, and came away buzzing with inspiration. Let your joy out to play. 

 

If you find yourself resisting joy or feeling like you have to “earn” it (like I still sometimes do) that’s worth exploring. 

 

You may have, like me, been raised with the idea that you have to work hard to deserve a rest. That putting yourself first was selfish. That feeling good was arrogant.  But we know better now that this is nonsense. 

 

Unpack those beliefs. Whose voice is it in your head telling you you’re too much? Too loud? Too colourful? Thank them for their input and show them the door. Joy isn’t something you have to earn, it’s something you claim. 

 

 

Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about noticing the bits that are working, even when life feels like a hot mess. 

 

It’s about saying things like “This coffee is excellent.” “This view is stunning.” “That conversation made my day.” 

 

Gratitude and glimmers go hand in hand. It’s not about toxic positivity,  it’s simply building your attitude of gratitude to spot what’s right, what’s real, and what’s beautiful. 

 

And it’s ok to feel joy even when life is hard. That’s not selfish, it’s resilience and strength. It’s looking after yourself. 

 

There’s a reason that tiny glimmers matter so much, they change your energy. And when your energy shifts, so does what you attract. 

 

The Law of Attraction isn’t just about vision boards or manifesting a dream holiday (though I’m all for both). It’s about alignment. When you start choosing joy, even in the smallest ways your energy changes. You radiate differently and become magnetic. 

 

That’s why putting on a fabulous dress just because, lighting that fancy candle while you work, or walking with a spring in your step matters. You’re not waiting for joy to find you. You’re broadcasting it. 

 

 

Here’s where science backs it all up — thanks to your Reticular Activating System (RAS). 

 

Your RAS is like a gatekeeper for your brain. With billions of bits of information flying at you every second, your RAS decides what’s worth noticing, based on what you’ve been focusing on. 

 

So if you keep telling yourself, “Nothing ever works out for me,” your brain will actively look for proof. But if you start choosing joy, confidence, or calm your brain begins spotting glimmers that match. 

 

You literally train your brain to find the good stuff. The moments of synchronicity, the compliments, the mirror moments where you think, yes, this is me. 

 

Joy isn’t a fluffy extra to your life. It’s the spark that makes life feel like yours again.And those glimmers are not random, they’re signs. They’re your nervous system and the universe nudging you towards alignment. 

 

When you choose joy on purpose- through your personal style, your mindset, and your presence -  your energy shifts. And both the universe and your brain start to deliver more of what matches that.